the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just found puke in my bra..
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
