i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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