Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
