I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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