Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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