Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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