Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I love you. Go after that dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
