ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
