I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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