i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Im part way to drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
