Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
