i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
