You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
