The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize