just come out here and I will go home with you...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
