the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
