love makes seman taste better
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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