you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
