you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
