i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize