Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
