id be glad to
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
