Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
