is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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