He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
