Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
