3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
