you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
