just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
