Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
