So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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