i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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