I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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