just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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