This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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