so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
