went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
