She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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