There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
