Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
