Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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