he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
