I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize