Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
