he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
