maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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