So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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