toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize