there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
this will be a night to untag.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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