so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize