I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
