your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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