Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
