We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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