Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
