careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up