stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.