Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah