He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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