if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
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she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
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I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420