Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
foreskin is a definite game changer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
