so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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