Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
